In our sessions, we’ll start by understanding the key issues you’re facing and the changes you hope to achieve. We’ll steer toward the present, but where necessary, bridge to the past for deeper-rooted problems. Each session will involve discussing your week or a broader topic. I like to use a whiteboard to walk through various conceptual models to help build cognitive understanding and then set tasks between the sessions to put this into practice. My general role is to stitch our discussions back to the focus, ensuring progression and skill building in the direction you want. This journey can naturally end or continue as long as you need support.

You are an expert on your world, and I have certain expertise to share with you. By working with me, I will help you identify, understand and challenge unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour that will be fuelling your emotional challenges. We will develop practical skills and strategies to manage and change these thoughts and behaviours, and I will support you in finding healthier and more adaptive ways forward.

Typically 12 to 24 sessions. However, it depends on what you'd like to work on. In the beginning, it's helpful to have regular weekly sessions, and then we can move to more of a check-in model (for instance, every other week, once a month, or ad hoc). It's important to recognise that we're looking to build incremental change over time, rather than expecting big shifts immediately. Breaking our unhelpful patterns that have been repeated for decades takes time. It's like learning a new language, skill or technique. Periods of trial and error is essential to learning and finding sustained growth and change.

The timeline for experiencing change in CBT varies for each individual, but many clients begin to notice improvements within a few weeks to a few months of dedicated sessions and the application of new skills and insights. Progress hinges on several factors, including the nature of the issues being addressed, the frequency of sessions, and the effort invested in tasks outside of therapy. By combining cognitive and behavioral techniques, clients learn to counteract unhelpful emotional patterns, enhancing their resilience and proving to themselves that they can cope. Over time, this growing self-belief transforms how they feel about the challenges they encounter. Remember, it’s essential to remain patient and communicative about your experiences and progress along the way.

It depends on the problems you'd like help with, however, some crop up often.

Preferential-Led Thinking over demand-led thinking

You will learn to to shift your core beliefs away from absolutist and rigid language such as 'need to,' 'must,' 'have to,' and 'shoulds.' For instance, 'I need to be successful' or 'people have to like me.' And learn a more preferential approach. For instance, 'I strongly desire to be successful, but I accept the reality I can't guarantee that right now.' Or 'I want people to like me, but I accept the reality they don't absolutely have to.'

Unconditional Acceptance over conditional acceptance

Conditional acceptance hinges on meeting specific criteria like behaviours, achievements, or conformity to expectations. This creates pressure and anxiety as individuals strive for approval, making their worth dependent on external validation. In contrast, unconditional acceptance embraces individuals regardless of their behaviours, achievements, or conformity. It frees people from the struggle to meet external standards, fostering solution-focused thinking and an intrinsic sense of worthiness independent of others' approval.

Defusion over fusion

Cognitive defusion involves distancing oneself from thoughts, seeing them as mere mental events rather than truths, and reducing their power to cause distress. This skill contrasts with cognitive fusion, where individuals become entangled with their thoughts, treating them as facts and allowing them to dictate emotions and behaviors. By practicing defusion, people can achieve greater psychological flexibility and well-being, as they are less controlled by negative or unhelpful thoughts.

Values-Led over emotionally-led

A values approach prioritises actions based on core values rather than transient or fear-based emotions, leading to more consistent and purposeful behavior. This method helps individuals focus on long-term goals and personal integrity, even when emotions fluctuate. By aligning actions with values, people can navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and fulfillment, rather than being swayed by immediate emotional reactions.

The Compassionate Orator

The tone we use with ourselves is crucial for emotional change. Many understand cognitive tools but struggle with implementation, as a kind voice often gets overpowered by self-criticism or it might be mistaken for maladaptive self soothing. True compassion combines kindness with wisdom and courage, enabling more effective and assertive self-support that incites a passionate and determined tone.